Equalish

I hold this truth to be self-evident, that all men are created equalish.

Obviously, all people have certain inalienable rights and responsibilities, but that's about the extent of it. Way too often I start comparing my life and myself to others under the false assumption that we are the same. In that sense, no person is equal to another.

My personality, priorities, proclivities, family history, health and talents are like a three dimensional fingerprint - unduplicated anywhere in the world. And get this, it is constantly changing. So comparing my self with the person I was 10 years ago isn't even viable.

I had the most amazing day yesterday. I got all the laundry done, folded and away (normally a four day activity). I did the dishes, made dinner, got my tires rotated and balanced, and even picked three bucketfuls of dandelions. Where did this day come from?! I don't know, but sign me up for another one.

Last night, I lay in bed remembering a day, just a few years ago, in the thick of my chronic fatigue when I spent most of my day laying on the couch. When the children wanted to go outside, I staggered to the back yard, lay facedown on the cement patio and stayed there inert till they clamored to go inside again and I could transfer back to the couch. Everything measurable in my life fell way below par. That was very much a "one talent" phase of life for me. I would think back to the super-productive, accomplishment-packed "ten talent" phase I had been in at the end of college, or even the "five talent" phase I experienced as the illness was just taking hold and I would feel desperately inadequate.

When surrounded by people in five and ten talent mode, it is nearly impossible to remember that the Lord only asks us to do the best with what we have. Sometimes, just enduring is the absolute maximum we are capable of. But, when we do what we can do, even if it is next to nothing, the Lord blesses us with an increase. I emerged from years of sickness with new eyes and a new heart. I viewed myself and my fellow man with increased tolerance and love. My empathy deepened, and my judgements gained generosity. I learned that what we do is fairly inconsequential, but who we are is monumental. Not a bad return on that one talent experience.

So before I pat myself too heartily on the back for my amazing days or get too down on myself for my less than amazing days, I'd better remember that the Lord gives what he will give. I just have to do the best I can and quit my comparing. Because in the end, I will never be "equal" to another person's accomplishments or challenges, but the Lord will make me equal to my own.