V Power

With apologies to Rudyard Kipling

Now this is the law of the sky -- when geese are out on the loose.

The strength of the goose is the "v" and the strength of the "v" is the goose.

As we all know, geese fly in "v" formation for the aerodynamic advantage. That is cool. What is even cooler, is that if one goose falls out of v formation because of injury, fatigue or sickness, two other geese follow him to the ground, protect him, feed him and stay by him till he is ready to fly again. Then the three form a small v and fly to re-join the flock.

We have many "v"s in our life that are designed to work that way. We have family, friends, neighborhoods and church groups. These groups are perfectly situated to come to the aid of individuals in distress - if we let them.

Our family, church and neighborhood are reeling from the recent suicide of a mother in our area. She lived one block from me. Her youngest and my oldest played together. We served together in the church. She was among the most optimistic, loving, service-oriented women I have ever known. She had been struggling with mental illness and depression for a decade, but no one knew. Five years ago the information came to our then Relief Society President, but she was sworn to secrecy by this mother who didn't want anyone else to know. Now, I don't know if additional help and love would have altered her outcome, but I do know that additional help, prayers, and love would not have hurt. It might have pinched her pride a little, but that is nothing compared to the gaping wound of her absence.

I don't think we give ourselves credit for the heavy loads we cary. Our burdens look different than pioneer burdens, or ancient Nephite burdens, so we discount them. But burdens do not need to involve handcarts in order to be heavy.

Only last month I called to cancel a visit from my Visiting Teachers on account of a week-long illness rampaging through my family. "Well, can we bring food in?" my visiting teacher asked. My brain screamed "Yes! Yes! Yes!" but my mouth said "No, we're fine." Aurgh. Why do we do that? Okay, I know why. It was a combination of pride and a "this situation can't possibly be bad enough to warrant help" attitude. Perhaps my response should have been "No, we're fine, but if I'm ever battling cancer while being chased by grizzly bears I'll let you know."

We are commanded to bear one another's burdens and that means letting others help us so that we can, in turn, provide help. Balanced loads are always easier to carry. It seems natural to allow others to share the burden of our joys as well as the burden of our struggles.

The hearts of the most valiant are failing. It is time to ask if our version of "self reliance" is really stubborn pride in disguise. I want to allow the "v"s in my lives to come to my aid. That may mean being brave, and letting out a "honk" of distress. I know how liberating it is for me when I see that other people need help too.

Sincerely,

A Goose in Training