Mixed Bags

The longer I live, the more I realize that everything in life is a mixed bag.  Of course some bags are more evenly mixed than others, but nothing is so very, very bad that some good cannot be found in it.  And nothing in life is so very, very good that it does not come at a price.

Children are just such a mixed bag.  My baby grins cherubically as I shower his face with kisses.  He snuggles and coos and clutches my finger.  I try to remember that as I drag myself from bed at 2:00 and again at 4:00 every night, and again when I see a chunk of the grocery budget go toward diapers that only work about 50% of the time.

When my two year old employs her excellent lungs in an hour long screaming fit and then uses marker to express her artistic side on the living room wall I have to remember her fierce little arms around my neck and the way I grin as she showers my face in kisses.

This month my wonderful hubby and I were trying to get away for the weekend.  At least, as away as you can get taking a three month old with you.  We tried making plans for our other three children, but all in vain.  I began longing for the day when we could pick up and go without arranging for sitters.  Or even just to have the children old enough to tend themselves so I could have room in the shopping cart for the groceries.  Then, as I got into bed I found a love letter from my eldest hidden under my pillow.  Then child #2 came and pressed his cheek next to mine and said "I love you mom."  How could I wish away a moment of this?

If childhood were all snuggles and smiles and songs it would be a tragedy for anyone to grow up.  But it  is also poop and screaming and whining and laundry.

Life is one great mixed bag.  So bring on the next stage and the next and the next.  It makes little sense to clinging to the past or to wish away today while yearning for the future.  I am still going to do that of course (it's the irrational, impatient, sentimentalist in me) but a mixed-bag perspective makes it so much easier to live in today and love it for what it is.