Pinky Promise

I think my children got together up in heaven and solemnly promised to do certain things while here on Earth.  Here are just a few:

If it is gross, I will lick it.

If something is put away, I will put it on the floor and stand on it.  I will not play with it, but I will pull it out and stand on it as many times as it takes to get mom to say those funny words.

If it is wet, it should be wrung out on the floor.

I will only make messes in clean rooms.  Why should I make messes in messy rooms?  That would be silly.

I will be fabulously cute and precocious until the camera turns on or until out of town relatives arrive.

If it is flat it needs to be colored on.

I will curb the family's  attachment to material goods by targeting expensive items.

If mom doesn't respond right away I will take that as a cue to repeat myself continuously.  Having a phone on her ear often impedes her hearing and she will need help.  Volume plus repetition equals help.

If a movie has even one inappropriate line I will memorize it and quote it in public.  (i.e. While You were Sleeping:  "Nice underwears.")

I look forward to finding out what their future children have up their sleeves.  It  had better be good.